Last week I told you about Leslie Vernick and her books. This week I want to introduce you to another favorite author. Lundy Bancroft. His book “Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” was instrumental in helping me realize exactly what was happening in my own life. The clear explanations and examples made it easy to see the truth of the relationship. Lundy Bancroft writes in a way that presents clear factual information while radiating care, concern and compassion. The shame and embarrassment at being part of a dysfunctional relationship is lessened as he explained and exposed the variety of ways an angry or controlling man will seek domination. Written with skill and compassion, this book is a must-have for anyone needing insight into abusive relationships.
Last year Bancroft teamed up with another counselor/author, PAC Patrassi to publish “’Should I Stay or Should I Go?” This book is an invaluable aid to the woman in recovering from an abusive relationship. Bancroft and Patrassi present clear processes to help the woman determine if a relationship is worth investing in and how to evaluate progress. Clear explanations and wise counsel are given to help sift through and discern truth from subterfuge and selfishness within the relationship.
At no time do the authors say, or even imply, a woman should leave a relationship. This book is focused on empowering a woman to make wise, informed decisions within the dynamic of the relationship. To aid restoration of the relationships, they have created a webpage specifically for the man/abuser in the relationship. This page includes a couple of chapters of the book, slightly rewritten to be the most benefit to an abuser truly seeking truth and a way to a healthy relationship.